I've no idea how this blog will develop, suffice to say I expect it to evolve during the next three years; during this time I shall be attending a British university and fulfilling the role of a mature student. +++++++++If you'd like to email you can at+++ mature.student@yahoo.co.uk

Wednesday 5 May 2010

PORTFOLIO

Reflection -

Clephan 3.01, 11:05am Monday - spring term 2011. Smattering of students are seated in auditorium. Lecturer and Gary (mature student wearing jeans and jacket) stand at the lectern.

Lecturer    (Addressing audience) I guess we’ll start. I rather hoped that more of you … Oh well, I’m preaching to… Today I’ve procured guest lecturer Gary, Creative Writing sophomore. He’s going to explain his treatment of last year’s portfolio assignment. I’m sure his experience will help you. So, without further ado, let’s give Gary a DMU welcome.
Only Lecturer claps
Gary         Hi, I don’t know if I’m a sophomore but I’m certainly a second year.
Lecturer laughs
Gary         Portfolio is the final “Exploring” assignment of the year. It accounts for 40% of your marks and gives you the opportunity to demonstrate editing ability, creativity and your development as a writer since you started the course.
Two latecomers enter and stare at the first table. Gary looks at them.
Lecturer    Come in. No handouts, sorry.
They walk in front of the lectern.
Gary         It’s in three parts; a new short item, a drastically edited piece and a reflection. I’ll start by looking at the new piece.
He hits a button and nothing happens.
Gary          (To Lecturer) I thought this was ready.
Lecturer    So did I. (Randomly pushing buttons)
Gary         What about this? (Screen illuminates )
Lecturer    What did you do?
Gary         Pressed the “on” button… This is my first draft and, for me, the most time-consuming part of the process. I had been thinking about Chloe for months, the germ of the plot tumbling in my mind during any spare moment. Chloe was no stranger to me. I’d met her during December’s 200-word short-story assignment. She was responsible for my first rejection slip; “not currently accepting… fraction too short… prefer series”.
        A series with a central character who outsmarts their older sibling might be commercial. After all, Francesca Simon’s “Horrid Henry” books are popular with adults and children. Why not modern Jacobean/Greek revenger’s tales for under fives? I now had a plan and a project; complete “Chloe’s Great Idea” for the portfolio then re-write “Chloe’s Spell” and submit both to a publisher.
        My writing process is simple; I edit ruthlessly as I write. This results in a relatively tight first draft; much tighter than October 2009. You’ll no-doubt recall the advice of Basil Bunting during a free verse poetry lecture, “cut out adjectives, adverbs, abstractions and every word you dare” . This advice also works for prose. Once I believe my piece is of a high enough standard I seek external advice from fellow students ; some I ignore and some I don’t.
New slide
Gary    Sally Jack was both astute and helpful. She suggested changing “pot-holing” to “burying toys” to aid understanding and changing “ruining” to “taking” to benefit from alliteration. Also removing “dirty” when mentioning “jumper” as this adds nothing to the story. Her comments helped maintain interest and pace and improved clarity.
New slide
Having completed the story, I then described the illustrations that would accompany the text. This was transferred onto the final lay-out as many publishers prefer to receive picture book manuscripts in this format. New slide
        Any Questions?
        The second task is the resubmitted and re-worked piece. In my case a rondeau entitled “Pillow Dent”, which sneaked a 2:1 largely due to the reflection. I took the tutor’s comment sheet to DMU hieroglyphic department and, armed with the translation, set about the first draft. This produced a better rondeau but lacked emotion.
        Paying heed to Bunting’s words I pruned, slashed and removed as much as I could. (New slide ) The remaining words had the look of a powerful free verse and by the third draft this is what it had become. In my first term I would have been satisfied; I had changed the form and layout. The beginning, ending and subject had altered but I wanted to go one stage further.
        The focus of my original piece, a hair and pillow, were no longer mentioned. I wanted the reader to have a sense of these and perhaps another format would be appropriate. I considered concrete poetry and was heartened by Emmett Williams’ words; “emphasis on poetry rather than concrete”. (Williams1967:page-v) This gave me license to retain both the words and meaning and put them in a more creative form: in this case a hair printed onto a pillowcase. (New slide )
        Unfortunately, I had no idea how to tackle the task. I wanted the poem to be thin yet legible to those with strong eyesight or a magnifying glass. I visited the computer lab in Clephan and found out I could draw a squiggle with “tools palette” and write on this with “Path” text . A gradient effect recreated a realistic change of colour. The hair was thin enough but not long enough; the solution was to repeat the poem. This was printed onto a new pillowcase and I was left with the task of photographing it. I sought the advice of Dr Perril . He suggested my work was a “sight specific poem.”
A student enters, sits in front row.
Gary         I’m currently considering the potential commercialism of pillow poetry. Any Questions?
Audience 1 What about the reflection?
Gary         What do you normally do?
Audience 1 Leave it to the last minute and write unimaginative rubbish.
Gary          And if I tell you another way?
Audience 1 I’ll still leave it to the last minute and write rubbish.
Gary         In that case, that’s what I recommend you do.
Audience 2 What’s a sophomore?

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Adeney A. (2007) So Scary! London. Franklin Watts.
Ahlberg A. (2001) Chickens in the Snow. Middlesex Puffin Books.
Astley N. (1988) Poetry with an Edge. Newcastle Upon Tyne. Bloodaxe Books.
Cassidy A. (2004) A Bunch of Balloons. London. Franklin Watts.
Cassidy A.(2008)Wizzard Gold. London Wayland.
Doyle M. and Parsons G. (2007) The Football Ghosts. London . Egmont UK Ltd.
Duranta A. and Mason S. (2007) Froggy went a Hopping. London. Evans Brothers Ltd..
French V. (1999) Iggy Pig at the Seaside. London. Hodder Children’s Books.
Gardner C. (2007) Turn off the Telly! London. Evans Brothers Ltd.
Gowar M. (2008) Finn and the Magic Goat. London. Wayland.
Harvey D. (2005) A Band of Dirty Pirates. London. Franklin Watts.
Hunter M. (1976) Talent is not Enough. London. Harper & Row.
Jordan L. (1998) How to write for Children – and get published. Great Britain. Piatkus.
Magee W. and Burnett J. (2007) The Three Billy Goats Gruff. London. Franklin Watts.
Moore M. (2007) The Magic Word. London. Franklin Watts.
Rampersad A. (Editor) (1995) The Collected Poems of Langston Hughes. USA. Vintage Books.
Roberts D. (2003 first published 2002) Dirty Birtie. London Little Tiger Press.
Shepard A. (2000) The Business of Writing for Children. Los Angeles. Shepard Publications.
Strachan L. (2008) Writing for Children. London. A & C Black.
Strand M. and Bolande E. (2001) The Making of a Poem – A Norton Anthology of Poetic Forms. London , Norton and CO.
Wildman E. (Editor) (1969) Anthology of Concretism: USA. Chicago Review.
Williams E (Editor) (1967) Anthology of Concrete Poetry. New York. Something Else Press.

Word count: 994 words excluding title, bibliography and footnotes.

Chloe’s Great Idea

Page   -   Picture: Chloe is standing with her arms folded. In her arms is her favorite toy.

Page   -   Chloe’s brother Paul often takes her toys. Sometimes he hides them.
Picture: Chloe is pulling drawers open and searching for something. Paul is watching her. He has a sinister smile and a toy hidden behind his back.

Page    -   Sometimes he watches them fly as he flings them in the apple tree. Sometimes he watches them swim when he slings them in the pond.
Double page picture: Paul is about to throw a toy. There are toys in the tree and pond.

Page   -   And sometimes he just buries them.
Picture: Paul is burying another toy.

Page   -    Chloe told Mummy but Paul always said it wasn’t him. “I didn’t take her toys. They flew into the trees by themselves.”
Picture: Mummy is talking to Paul. He looks innocent. He has a voice bubble, “They flew into the trees by themselves.”

Page  -   Chloe’s favourite toy was a rag-doll called Vengie. She loved her and looked after her very carefully. Paul thought Vengie might like to go swimming or learn to fly.
Double page picture: Chloe is clutching the rag-doll tightly. Paul is trying to take it from her.

Page   -   “How can I stop Paul taking my toys?” thought Chloe. “Perhaps cover him with bread and tie him to a tree so birds would peck him?” But she didn’t have any bread.
Double page picture: Chloe is thinking. She is holding half a loaf. Inside the thought bubble, Paul is tied to a tree and big birds are pecking at him.

Page   -   “Dunk him in the pond?” But she didn’t have a ducking-stool.
Picture: Chloe is thinking. In the thought bubble Paul is sitting on his bottom in a shallow pond. He is covered in pondweed and a frog is on his head.

Page    -    “Dig a hole and bury him right up to his neck?” But she didn’t have a spade.
Picture: Chloe has her hands folded across her chest. She is thinking. In the thought bubble Pauls head is sticking out of the ground.

Page   -   And then she had an idea. It was one of those special ideas that made the hairs on her arms tickle.
Picture: Chloe looks pleased.

Page   -   Chloe borrowed Daddy’s fishing line and Paul’s school jumper. Chloe wondered how far it was from the middle of Paul’s jumper to the end of his sleeve.
Picture: Chloe is kneeling and measuring a jumper. Beside her is a fishing line.

Page   -   Tying the fishing line around Vengie, she lowered her from an upstairs window until she landed gently beyond the garden gate.
Double page picture: Chloe is lowering her doll from an upstairs window. It is about to land outside the garden gate.

Page   -   Paul spotted Vengie. Now was his chance. He pushed his arm through the bars of the gate. Vengie was nearly within reach.
Double page picture: Paul is looking at the rag-doll through the gate.

Page   -   He stretched his arm, then squeezed his head between the bars until his fingers touched the edge of Vengie’s dress.
Double page picture: Paul’s arm and head is through the gate but not quite touching the toy.

Page   -   Chloe jerked the fishing line and tugged Vengie to safety.
Double page picture: “SNATCH”. Chloe is smiling as she tugs on the fishing line. The rag-doll is rising towards the upstairs window. Paul is shocked.

Page   -   “Help me, I’m stuck,” cried Paul.
Double page picture: Paul is stuck between the bars of the gate.

Page   -   “I’ll get Mummy,” said Chloe.
Double page picture: Chloe has a satisfied grin.

Page   -   “But not straight away”, she added quietly.
Double page picture: The whispered line is in a voice bubble and she’s talking to Vengie.

Word count: 299 words excluding picture descriptions and title.